Hogwarts' Rule Number 28
by Mister Jackkkk
Summary: Hogwarts' Rule Number 28: I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leapard, tasmanian devil or pirahna.


**Hogwarts' Rule Number 28: I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leapard, tasmanian devil or pirahna.**

**A/N  
I just thought I'd point out reticulated means, "to have a diamond pattern", because I had to go searching it myself, I thought I'd save some people the trouble... unless you're all smarter than me and I just made a fool of myself. XD Either way, please enjoy this fic!**

**For BEAABOP.**

Scorpius Malfoy peered into his trunk, "shh..." he consoled the contents and threw a raw steak inside. "I hope you like it," he continued, "I picked it out special - just for you."  
He continued to coo and giggle, and finally managed to wriggle half of himself inside of trunk; Scorpius' bottom danced about in the air, his legs twisted this way and that, and a high pitched squeal travelled down the halls of Malfoy Manor.

"Stop it!" giggled Scorpius, only half meaning it, as he was thoroughly enjoying himself, "Pl-please!" he gasped, feeling a stitch forming in his side.

There was a dry cough behind him, and Scorpius rushed to pull himelf out of the box. His hair stuck up in all directions, and looking a little bit like a windswept owl, he stared up at his father in the doorway.

Draco Malfoy raised an eyebrow, his mouth was forced into a tight frown, though the corner of his lip twitched, "What do you have there, Scorpius?"

"Nothing!"

Draco narrowed his eyes, "Really? You're just... entertaining yourself with an empty trunk then?"

"Isn't it obvious, father?" Scorpius puffed out his chest, "Someone has charmed my trunk to tickle me whenever I need to get something from it."

"Obviously," repeated Draco, he coudn't stop the smile reaching his eyes, "Would you like me to fix it for you?" he raised his wand.

"No!" Scorpius stood abruptly, "I mean - er - I'll never learn, father if you always fix my problems for me - yes! That's right." he nodded rapidly, messing his hair further.

"Of course," Draco smirked, "However, you have to promise me to seek help if it gets out of hand."

"Yes, father." Scorpius smiled widely, pleased with himself.

"Good," Draco eyed the trunk, "Well, enough of that for now, wash up for dinner - your mother will be home soon."

Scorpius jumped to his feet and making sure his trunk was closed, he slowly looked his father up and down, "... you promise not to interfere?"

Draco raised his hand and nose to the ceiling, "I swear"

Not looking entirely satisfied and much to Draco's dislike, Scorpius fidgeted, "Promise?"

"I promise."

"Shove a hundred needles in your eye?"

Draco sniffed loudly, hating the Muggle term his son picked up from his school mates, "_Yes_," Draco pointed out the hall, "Now, please do as I say."

Appearing much calmer now that his father agreed to shove a hundred needles in his eye if he broke his promise, Scorpius skipped out of his room. Draco watched his retreating back down the hall way, "Don't forget to fix your hair," he called after his son, before turning on the trunk.

Draco fingered his wand. The last time Scorpius had been this suspicous about something, it was because Potter's eldest son thought it would be funny to sell his son a canary that _James_ promised knew the answers to all of Scorpius' tests. Scorpius lost 20 Galleons, failed all of his exams, and learnt some very colourful swears from the thing. Eventually he was forced to send the bird home because it kept his son's dorm up all night singing various crude songs, which in turn kept Draco up all night, and he ended up vanishing it, much to Scorpius' horror, and forcing his son to tell him where it came from. When Draco found out that it had been conjured up by James Potter, he immediently dropped the subject, but not after telling his son not to buy anything from the Potter's again.

The canary wasn't the first thing Scorpius had been tricked into accepting from the eldest Potter boy, and it looked like it wasn't the last either. The trunk shuddered, and Draco aimed his wand.

Taking a deep breath, Draco waved his wand, the trunk lifted its lid and Draco leaned forward slightly to peek inside. Draco swollowed thickly. The contents of the trunk was half filled with a large slimey, snake.

The head of the reticulated python peeped out of the box and stared up at Draco with unblinking horrified eyes. With a thud, the python slipped out of the trunk and onto the floor, pulled itself to its full height and stuck out its tongue.

"Bloody hell," whispered Draco, taking a few steps back, "I think I prefer the swearing canary."

The snake shook its head slowly as if understanding Draco, looked down its body and back up at him, flicking its tongue again.

Draco frowned, and examined the length of it. Blotchy black and yellow diamonds decorated its body, it appeared to be slightly hairy and four little stumps protuded down it. "Merlin help me - you're not a snake are you?"

The python's head bobbed.

Draco groaned, "Scorpius!" he shouted down the hall, "Scorpius come here!"

"I've combed my hair! No need to tell me again!"

"Now!"

Scorpius come up behind his father and paled seeing the snake and Draco side by side, "Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, where did you get this snake?"

Scorpius found his toes to be very interesting and decided to mumble to them.

"Scor," Draco tapped his foot.

"I got it from..." the boy's voice trailed away.

"Again."

"... James Potter"

Draco pinched the bridge of his nose, "Didn't I tell you not to purchase anything from that boy?"

"Yes - but I didn't buy him! James _gave_ him to me!" Scorpius flew at the python and clutched to him dearly, "Oh, please father! Don't vanish him!"

Draco gritted his teeth, and took a calming breath, "I won't be vanishing him," he lifted his wand, "step away Scorpius."

"No! You'll kill him!" Scorpius' fingers wrapped dangerously tight around the snake's neck.

"I won't, step away - don't give me that look!" Draco glared, and looking defeated Scorpius removed himself from the python.

"If you kill him, I'll never forgive you," grumbled Scorpius.

Draco prodded the snake with his wand, casting the _Homorphus_ Charm.

The snake appeared to collapse into itself and Scorpius cried out, then its colours began fading, the snake grew arms and legs, and a mop of dark hair on its head. Until finally revealling itself to actually be Albus Potter.

Draco conjured a cloak and passed it to the small boy.

"Thank you Mr. Malfoy," whispered the boy, highly embarrassed.

Scorpius stared, open mouthed and Draco folded his arms, "What happened?"

"Well, my brother - James - he asked me to help him with his Transfiguration homework, and I agreed, and then he turned me into a snake," Albus blushed, "he thought it was funny... so did everyone else, so I guess it was funny, but then he put me in a box and I was given away," the youngest Potter boy's eyes widened, "Oh! But not before I was thrown into the girls' bathroom to make them scream - they threw stinging hexes at me." Albus rubbed at his arm sheepishly.

Draco continued to frown.

"I'm sorry Mr. Malfoy!" Albus stumbled backwards, "There was nothing I could do! I tried to tell people, but it's difficult to talk when you're a snake."

Draco considered just dumping the boy in the Floo Network, but knew that wouldn't do. Scorpius had been on holiday break for three days now, and who knew how long Albus had been "missing" before that. Sighing, Draco held out his hand, "Come on - let's have dinner, and then I'll take you home."

Albus nodded, and tentively took Draco's hand, Scorpius gathered Albus' free one into his, "I didn't know James had a brother! What's your name? I'm Scorpius! No wonder you didn't eat any of the critters I gave you, being a boy. You must be starved! Are you hungry?"

Albus blinked, "Um," he looked up at Draco, who was trying to appear angry again.

o~O~o~O~o~O~o

Draco and Albus appeared in Godrick's Hollow with a small pop. Abus looked a little ill, and held Draco's hand very tight as they walked up the pebbled path to the Potter's house.

Draco rapped his knuckles against the doorframe and waited.

The door opened slightly and large brown eye looked between the gap, and up at Draco.

Draco cleared his throat, "I have brought Albus -"

The eye widened, the door flew open to reveal a young girl with flaming red hair, she gasped seeing her brother, spun on her heel and ran up the stairs, "Mum! Dad!" she screamed, "He's home!"

Draco's eye twitched at how carelessly she left the door unattended - Potter was Saviour of the world for crying out loud, but he couldn't teach his children about safety? There were still plenty of other bad witches and wizards out there!

Harry Potter decended the stairs with his daughter wrapped around his knee, he had looked cross at first, but surprise quickly replaced it seeing Albus clutching Draco's hand, "Malfoy?"

As if suddenly remembering who he was escorting, Draco threw his entwined hand towards Harry, causing poor Albus to be swept up onto the doorstep, "Your son."

Harry looked down at little Albus, who was blushing again, his sister swung on Harry's leg and sing-songed, "You're in _so_ much trouble!"

Albus released Draco's hand and stepped around his family, "Thank you Mr. Malfoy," he mumbled, and ran up the stairs.

"Talk to your oldest about Albus disappearance," said Draco curtly.

Harry looked as if ready to ask a million questions, but he shook his head, "Thank you."

Draco nodded and turned to leave, stopped, and half glanced at Harry, "And tell him to stop selling things to my son..." he puffed out his chest, "Then maybe I'll consider Albus coming to visit Scorpius again - they're quite fond of each other."

Harry pushed at his glasses, "Oh, okay," he smiled goofily, "I'll tell him that."

"Good," Draco shifted, only slightly, trying to think of more to say, "Good," he nodded again and stepped away from the house.

"Daddy, he's a funny man," giggled the little girl.

Harry smiled and watched Draco Disapperate, "Don't judge Lily," he said fondly, "Albus likes him, so he can't be so bad."

**A/N  
This went in a whole different direction than I originally planned, -shrugs- I hope you all liked it anyway. **


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